...most of the time it is just downright painful. I will admit I am a collector. No not in the hoarder sense or in material things. I think that would be easier. No, I am a collector of people/relationships.
The relationships vary; acquaintances, different degrees of friendship, family, etc. but the point is that once you are in my circle I really do care. I may not call on an hourly, weekly or in some cases, monthly basis; I let the other person set the pace according to their preferences.
I will also admit to a trait that while well meaning, can be detrimental to me as well as another, and that is I hate to see anyone hurting. I have been called Miss Fix-it on more than one occasion. And while I don't offer unsolicited advice, if we are having a conversation (in the true meaning of the word, not the one sided kind) if you are my friend, I may suggest thinking positively, try to give a different outlook or offer an alternative perspective. I do believe that a person can believe themselves into a happy life/set of circumstances, so I guess that makes me an optimist as well.
I also believe in unconditional acceptance. No one is perfect. I accept people for who they are, warts and all (Lord knows I could be a frog princess with all my warts!) I look for the good qualities and talents in people and wish sometimes that I had a mirror, that when a person looked into it, they would see what I see.
I have very recently come to the understanding, that some relationships cannot be saved. A relationship is two sided, just like a conversation is supposed to be. Some people simply do not have the energy/ability to participate in a relationship. Sometimes it takes all a body's energy to get through the day with a healthy outlook. This is not selfishness. It is a survival technique. I understand that for them, hearing about someones happy life can be painful for that person if they are not happy themselves. Even when they have asked "how is so and so doing".
There was a line in a movie once that said "those that loved him, bashed themselves against the rock that was ________". I get it.
Out of friendship and respect for a person, sometimes you just have to honor their wishes, pray for them, keep the door open, a light in the window, wish them well, cherish the memories and let them go...
Just sharing a thought.